Deer X-ing

EXT. road in a forest - evening 

The sun is starting to set. It is lonesome and quiet. Trees line the street, and a singular car has veered off the street and into the dirt. The front of the car is damaged, and the driver's side-view mirror is close to coming off. 

Inside the car, only MARTHA (mid-20s) is thin and worn. The shadows under her eyes are dark and her wiry hair has a mind of its own. Her nose is red and her lips are cracked. Martha is frozen in her seat. 

Her hand shakes. She lowers the window. Martha tenses her body in fear of what she might see. There in the middle of the road is DEER, a white-tailed deer with no antlers. It is small and thin like Martha. No one can see Deer's face or limbs, only the frail, damaged body that struggles to breathe. 

Martha averts her eyes away from Deer and moves her hand away from the window and back to the steering wheel. She lets go of the brake and steps on the gas. The car can still drive. She moves her car off of the dirt and onto the street she has veered off of. 

INT. HALLWAY OF AN APARTMENT BUILDING - SAME NIGHT 

Martha hugs herself and walks with a long stride in a hurry to get back to her apartment. She slows and observes a couple. The Mother holds a newborn Child that sleeps in her arms. Martha sees the newborn at peace and envies it. She blinks away tears that start to form, preventing them from falling. The Father unlocks the door and leads his family inside. 

Martha picks up her pace after the family shuts the door. She fumbles through her keys, but the anxiety and cold make it difficult. She finally grabs the right one to unlock her door. She swings open the door and slams it behind her. 

INT. MARTHA'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Martha takes a breath to calm herself, but she is still trembling. She closes her eyes and takes deep breaths, but gives up after a few seconds. 

Her apartment is a cramped and cluttered studio. The bed is unmade, dishes are in the sink, and last week's laundry sits in a pile on a chair. 

Martha puts her keys and wallet down on the counter next to her door. 

She cannot steady herself. Martha climbs into bed without taking her work clothes off or washing her face. She pulls the covers over herself and stares at the ceiling. 

Martha dreams. She sees the crash and Deer who struggles to breathe. Then Deer's movement stops. 

Martha wakes up from her dream. There she is face to face with an apparition of Deer. Its eyes are wide and innocent like a child's. The apparition startles Martha out of bed. She kicks the sheets off in a hurry in order to run from the ghost. When she looks back to where Deer once stood the apparition has disappeared. 

The trembling has gotten worse. 

Martha is cautious and careful when she opens a cabinet next to the sink. She keeps scanning the room waiting for Deer to reappear. Martha opens the cabinet keeping an eye on the side of the bed where she last saw Deer. She grabs a salt shaker. 

She takes the salt and starts from the right side of the bed where Deer was and coats the hardwood floors with it. 

Her bed now has an outline of salt surrounding it. After waiting a couple of beats, shaking and scanning the room for Deer, Martha steps over the salt and rushes to get under the covers once again. 

Martha tries to steady her hands and her breath, but nothing works. Her apartment is too cold for her to relax and the disturbing image of Deer's dying body remains in the back of her head. 

Once again she tries to close her eyes and take deep breaths. This is interrupted by an apple that falls off the table and onto the ground with a thud. 

Martha is too scared to open her eyes because she knows what pushed it off. She tightens her eyes shut. Her heart is beating faster than ever. 

She opens her eyes and Martha sees Deer, who is staring back at her with those same child-like eyes. Even as a ghost, Deer is the very picture of innocence. Martha weeps. She turns away not wanting its look to haunt her. 

Deer continues to stare at her and refuses to look away. 

Martha throws the sheets off her body. She gets out of bed for the second time that night and grabs the keys and wallet on the counter. She steps over the salt and runs out the door. 

INT. HALLWAY OF AN APARTMENT BUILDING - CONTINUOUS 

Martha runs down the hallway where she saw the family earlier. It is silent. She looks behind her and there is no sign of Deer. 

Martha leaves her apartment and is greeted by bustling nightlife. 

EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT 

The sun has now completely set and it is dark. The world around her is active. Martha walks past a group of friends who hug and greet each other by a parked car. They all smile in a way Martha has not in, what seems like, months. 

Martha looks behind her again and there is no sign of Deer, only people. 

A man in a suit passes by with a bouquet of flowers. Her eyes stay on the flowers until she walks into another person. Martha looks down and continues her steady walk. 

She passes by a bar with outdoor seating. Every seat has been filled and is loud with the voices of people watching a game. 

She walks by a duo of performers at a corner. One person is singing while another plays guitar. The song sounds sad and slow, but people stop by to hear it. Martha slows her speed to listen to the words. Someone drops money in a hat on the ground. Her walk starts to slow but returns to a steady pace when she passes the crowd of people who have gathered around the performers. 

Martha crosses a street. The song fades as she walks away. She looks behind her again, but takes in the see the life of the city and forgets to check if Deer is there. 

Martha contemplates her next moves as she faces the busy street. She cannot stop and watch the game at the bar, Deer will catch up. She cannot stop and see the performers because Deer might already be there. There is nowhere she can go, she can only continue to walk. Martha shivers and hugs herself. She turns her back to the street and begins to walk forward, but stops and looks back again. She’s missing out on life. 

Martha takes a deep breath and crosses the street she came from. Deer reappears by the performers. 

Her walk is slow as she approaches the performers. Deer does not move, but when Martha is with the crowd of people watching the performer, Deer has disappeared. The song they are playing is a newer, more exciting one. Martha stays for two more songs and claps when both are finished. She searches her pockets for cash and finds a crumpled-up five-dollar bill. She places it in the hat at their feet. 

Martha is once again slow as she continues her walk. Her trembling has stopped. Deer stops in front of the bar. She goes inside and avoids looking at Deer. 

INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS 

Inside she takes a seat and orders a drink. She watches a football game on TV. Suddenly the bar and a WOMAN next to her cheer, so Martha does as well. The woman smiles at her. 

EXT. CITY STREETS - CONTINUOUS 

Time has passed as the performers on the corner are gone and the outdoor seating has thinned out. There are fewer people on the streets. 

Martha and the woman leave the bar together. After giving Martha

a piece of paper with her number on it, the woman waves goodbye to her and Martha returns the wave. The woman walks in the other direction, opposite Martha's apartment. This is the first time Martha has smiled. 

Martha turns towards her apartment. However, she is stopped when the apparition of Deer is waiting for her. She steps away and brings her arms up in defense, but Deer is still. Deer tilts its head. Martha lowers her arms. She steps around Deer who turns around to face her. She takes a step back and Deer walks with her. Martha scrunches her face in confusion when Deer does not attack her. She looks down into Deer’s eyes. 

Martha finds that its gaze no longer haunts her. Deer does not try to harm her. It is like a loyal dog waiting for a command. 

Martha walks home. Deer follows close behind. 

INT. HALLWAY OF AN APARTMENT BUILDING - CONTINUOUS 

Martha goes back down the hallway leading to her apartment. Deer skips ahead as if it knows where Martha wants to go. Deer waits at the front door. Martha, with steady hands, grabs the right key and unlocks it. 

INT. MARTHA'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS 

Deer walks ahead of Martha. Deer goes to the apple that fell and attempts to bite it but passes through. Martha chuckles. She picks up the pajamas on the ground and changes into them. Martha lets her hair down and brushes it. Deer watches, but it does not startle Martha. 

She kneels down and hopes the animal can sense how sorry she is. She reaches a hand out and the apparition does not back away. Martha attempts to pet Deer, but her hand passes through the ghost. 

Martha grabs a blanket on the floor and spreads it on her bed. This extra blanket will make the bed as warm as she needs it. She yawns and lifts up the covers ready to go inside. Though she steps on her circle of salt. 

Martha looks back to Deer who stands on the edge of the circle, not daring to pass. Martha backs up and grabs a broom and dustpan that lean against the refrigerator.

Martha sweeps away all the salt. She sweeps her mess into the dustpan and throws it away. She lifts up the covers once more and for the last time tonight she gets into bed. She does not shake from the cold or from nerves. She is steady and still. 

Deer makes its way over to Martha's bed. Deer jumps onto the bed and makes itself comfortable. As a young white-tailed deer there is enough space for it to lie down next to her. 

Martha and Deer are warm and at peace. Finally, they sleep.

THE END.

Say Goodnight, Lily

FADE IN:

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

Edvard Greig’s Suite No. 1, Op. 46 (or similar) plays as we fade into a peaceful kitchen. Birds are lightly chirping, light is crawling in from under the silky white curtains that hang on the window above the kitchen sink.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The camera moves around the space of the small living room. Neat and tidy like the kitchen, but with a more personal touch with a few pictures scattered about revealing the home’s occupant, LILY (early 30s) with some friends, and one picture of YOUNG LILY (11) with her GRANNY.

Stacked neatly on the coffee table and shelves are a plethora of self-help books with ironic titles like “Get Help, B$!@%”, “Problems Are Stupid, Maybe So Are You”, “Serotonin for Dummies”, and “The Art of Not Driving Into Oncoming Traffic”.

BEEP, a voicemail begins.

LILY VOICEMAIL (V.O.)

Hi, you’ve reached Lily please

leave a message after the...

(there’s the sound of

glass shattering)

BEEP.

JOB LADY (V.O.)

Hi, Lily. You haven’t come into

work the last few weeks.

INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

The camera glides down the hallway, making its way from the tidy living room, down the tidy hallway into-

JOB LADY (V.O.)

Is everything alright?

INT. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Lily’s bedroom... a literal fucking nightmare, a warzone in suburbia. Her mental state is fully on display for anyone who enters this room to see.

JOB LADY (V.O.)

Unfortunately, I was asked to pass

along a message to you and well um,

oh jeez. I have to notify you

you’re being terminated, effective

immediately, the higher ups have

all their briefs in a knot because

of your unannounced no-shows. Gosh,

I’m so sorry sweetheart, but uh let

me know if you need anything.

BEEP.

SHVOOOOOOOOO the vacuum turns on and Lily begins cleaning her carpet.

INT. FRONT DOOR - MORNING

At the front door now, clean and immaculate like the majority of the house, the morning music continues to play, the birds are still chirping when suddenly KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Lily runs to the front door and swings it open to a MISSIONARY (20s), plump with an off-putting smile on his face.

MISSIONARY

Have you accepted the Lord and

Savior Jesus Christ into your heart?

Lily studies the missionary’s scarily happy face then looks into the camera.

LILY

We’re about to find out!

Lily slams the door shut.

CUT TO BLACK.

INSERT TITLE CARD: SAY GOODNIGHT, LILY

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Lily is cleaning her room doing various tasks like making her bed, organizing more self-help books, before settling on her computer, the blue light of the screen illuminating her face. She begins typing.

LILY

(narrating )

It’s a tough life.

(beat)

For what feels like my whole life

I’ve been combatting some pretty

dark thoughts. My doctors say it’s

a chemical imbalance, but the drugs

they pump into me only do so much

and, well, for personal reasons...

I’ve decided to pass away.

(beat. She looks into the

camera)

I’m sorry. Trigger warning. I need

to tell myself that too. This

wasn’t an easy decision to make,

but it feels like the right one.

(Goes back to typing, muttering).

If you knew what I’ve been through

you’d probably agree that this is

the only logical decision to make.

(Looks into the camera )

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried

finding my purpose to live.

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE - DAY

Lily is telling the THERAPIST her woes while he’s on his phone.

LILY (V.O.)

I tried therapy.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Lily is sitting on her bed in a meditative position with crystals sitting in a circle around her.

LILY (V.O.)

I’ve tried balancing my crystals

and recharging my chakras or

whatever.

EXT. ALLEY WITH WASH - DAY

Lily is going on a run, her arms flailing limply.

LILY (V.O.)

Exercising releases endorphins.

Endorphins make people happy,

right? Happy don’t kill their

themselves.

Lily stops running to catch her breath. Her eye catches something unusual. TWO MEN are dumping a dead body wrapped in black trash bags into the wash. They toss the body over the rail into the wash, then make eye contact immediately with Lily. Fuck.

Lily looks into camera.

LILY

It’s really hard watching other

people living out your dream.

Lily looks back at the men. Their mood has changed. And they WOLF-WHISTLE at her, one of them winks.

Lily turns back to the camera and does a little shrug and rolls her eyes before she continues to run.

INT. PITCH BLACK - NIGHT

The screen is completely dark.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

LILY (V.O.)

I have tried literally everything.

INT. LILY’S HOUSE - DAY

Lily closes hits a button on her computer and the sound of a printer nearby goes off, she stands up to go grab the paper

We explore each room of Lily’s House. Every room spotless. The kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, her bedroom. All so clean you can eat off the floor.

Lily comes back into the room, folds up the paper, and shoves it into the envelope.

Lily sits on the bed. Her face looks defeated as she weighs her emotions in her head, contemplating before she gets up and-

CU: A shot of an envelope sitting on Lily’s dresser addressed to “Whomever May Find This”.

ECU: Lily’s face. She looks into the camera, then closes her eyes.

LILY

Say goodnight, Lily.

YOUNG LILY (O.S.)

(excitedly)

Goodnight, Lily!

INT. LILY’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM - DAY

ECU: Lily’s eyes shoot open.

She opens her eyes to find herself in her childhood bedroom. It’s loud and poorly decorated. Her eyes study the room until she lands on CHILD LILY, hair in a poorly cut bob with bangs littered with glitter barrettes and little round glasses like Harry Potter’s.

CHILD LILY

You look like a bird number two’d

on you.

LILY

What. The. Fuck.

CHILD LILY

Oooooo you said the “F” word.

LILY

This...this absolutely was not in

any self help book. (She runs a

hand through her hair and sighs,

then looks into the camera.)

Lily examines her surroundings again and sees the picture of her young self and Granny on the dresser. She suddenly realizes...

Adult Lily points in disbelief at Child Lily who points back in quick reaction a la Spider-Man meme.

CHILD LILY

Why are we pointing?

LILY

You're me. I'm you.

CHILD LILY

(acceptingly shrugs the

reality)

Okay.

They stop pointing at each other.

Lily sits on her old bed overflowing with stuffed animals. She questions her surroundings.

LILY

(looking into camera)

Is this Hell?

CHILD LILY

Who are you talking to?

LILY

Nobody important.

Lily begins rubbing her temples trying to make sense of the situation.

LILY (CONT'D)

I can’t even do this right!

CHILD LILY

Do what right?

LILY

Kill myself!

There is a beat. Child Lily frowns, and she hesitates before speaking.

CHILD LILY

We want to die?

Lily looks at her child self and sees the disappointment in her eyes. The gravity of what she said hits.

LILY

Kill ourselves? No, I meant dill.

Dill ourselves. We get really into

pickling onions, tomatoes, beets.

You know nothing beats pickling!

It’s kind of a big dill.

Child Lily looks at Lily knowing just how severe their mental illness will become.

GRANNY (O.S.)

Lily! Lunch time!!

Lily’s entire body goes weak at the sound of her grandmother’s voice.

CHILD LILY

Come on! Lunch is ready!

Child Lily grabs Lily by her hand and leads her out the bedroom door into-

INT. GRANNY’S KITCHEN - DAY

Child Lily rushes into the kitchen and sits at the dining table where GRANNY, in an old dress and apron, is setting down a bowl of soup.

Lily peers around the corner of the kitchen door. This can’t be real.

LILY

(to camera, beat)

Granny?

GRANNY

Lily! Come on out from hiding over

there.

Lily is petrified. She slowly moves into the door frame. Tears well up in Lily’s eyes.

GRANNY (CONT'D)

Come come. Sit down and eat your

soup before it gets cold.

Child Lily has already started shoving spoonfuls of tomato bisque into her mouth.

Lily awkwardly shuffles into her seat and takes a spoonful of soup. She looks up at her grandmother who is bustling around the kitchen, cleaning up. She’s soaking in the moment.

She moves her spoon around, looking disinterested in the food.

LILY

Granny? You’re really here?

GRANNY

Of course I am!

Lily studies the room.

LILY

Where am I?

GRANNY

Where do you think you are, honey?

Are you sniffing markers again?

LILY

Not markers, no. But...

Lily looks at Child Lily who currently is wearing more soup on her face than what she’s actually consumed.

LILY (CONT'D)

Hell maybe? I don’t know.

Purgatory?

GRANNY

I was a damn saint, why would I be

in purgatory?

LILY

Okay, so is this heaven?

Granny takes a beat and shrugs. She begins to busy herself with cleaning up around the kitchen.

Lily looks down into her food, suddenly very interested in the shapes she’s drawing with her spoon. When she looks up, Granny looks like she’s about to head out of the kitchen.

LILY (CONT'D)

I think I really messed up, Granny.

Granny pauses and turns around. She walks back and sits down across from her, and sets her towel down onto the table.

GRANNY

(she chuckles)

Oh honey, if I had a dime for every

time I thought I messed up and life

was over, well we would have been

living the highlife with mojitos

and pool boys.

(looks at camera)

Girls too. Granny likes pretty

things.

CHILD LILY

WHO ARE YOU GUYS TALKING TO???

Child Lily stands up and starts waving her hands in front of the camera trying to see if she can crack the magic

LILY

That’s a lot of dimes, Granny

(beat)

LILY (CONT'D)

I didn’t know you ever felt that

way. You always seemed so happy.

GRANNY

All I ever wanted to do as your

grandmother was protect you from

the miseries in this world that I

faced.

They sit in silence for a moment.

LILY

Do you remember the time when we

went to the county fair and I drank

too much soda, so when I went on

that ride that was really shaky and

zipped me around I shit myself?

GRANNY

How could I forget? I had to give

you the knitted sweater I got from

my book club for you to wear as

pants.

CHILD LILY

(shocked)

What??

Granny and Lily laugh.

LILY

That set the tone for what the rest

of my life would look like. The

year after... when you di-

Granny shoots her a look to stop for the sake of Child Lily who has lost herself in her soup again.

LILY (CONT'D)

Sorry.

Lily chokes up a little.

GRANNY

Oh Lily Pad, don’t apologize to me.

I’m the one who left you too soon.

LILY

(beat)

Why don’t I just stay here Granny?

I’ve missed you so much. I finally

feel like I’m home.

GRANNY

You can’t stay here when there’s

still so much back there for you.

LILY

I don’t want to die, Granny. I just-

I just want to end my life as I

know it.

GRANNY

Then end it.

LILY

Can’t you see that I’m trying???

GRANNY

I don’t mean literally. Death

doesn’t always mean dying. Growth

isn’t beautiful, it’s ugly and it

hurts. Last I checked, Granny

raised a big bitch, not a little

one.

Granny and Child Lily high-five.

Lily buries her face in her hands.

Lily looks at Child Lily, tomato bisque all over her, blissfully unaware of the conversation.

LILY

I want to be that happy again.

Certainly God and all the drugs

I’ve tried know. You said you’ve

felt broken before. How did you

live with it?

GRANNY

I just didn’t let myself give up.

And I have faith you won’t either.

Living is never easy, and quite

frankly, neither is being dead.

Also, God cheats at poker.

(looks to camera)

The bastard owes me $400 from last

Friday.

Tears start to flow down Lily’s face

Granny stands up and walks over, planting a kiss on Lily’s forehead.

GRANNY (CONT'D)

I love you more than you will ever

know, Lily Pad.

Lily reaches out and squeezes her grandmother tightly. They rest like that for a moment, Lily silently shaking with sobs. Her Grandmother gently takes Lily's arms off of her, and disappears into the hallway, leaving Lily alone at the table.

CU: on Lily' head.

Lily stands and looks around, she is now in a ghostly empty space, no sign of her grandmother or her kid self. The bowl is gone, and everything is neat and ordered, as if it were a house being shown for sale. The only sign that the last few minutes ever happened are Granny’s apron, neatly folded on the dining table. Lily goes over to it, gently picks it up, and hugs it, breathing in her Grandmother’s scent. She stands like that for a few moments, before setting down the apron and walking down out of the kitchen.

Lily enters Child Lily’s bedroom, where her kid self is already sitting on the edge. She looks at Lily.

Child Lily reaches forward and gives her self a bear hug. Lily awkwardly pushes Child Lily away, then pats her on the head like a dog, then slowly settles herself into bed.

ECU: on Lily’s face. Her sad face slowly has life return to it again. She smirks, very Mona Lisa of her.

CHILD LILY

Say good morning, Lily.

LILY

Good morning, Lily.

The screen fades to black, and then there is a brilliant flash of white as the sounds of birds and morning traffic begin to fade in....

FADE TO BLACK.