SOMETIMES LIFE’S A B****, BUT YOU KEEP LIVING - PT. IV

Everyone always told her she was too sensitive, too erratic in her nature and maybe she was in the eyes of adults who didn’t have the privilege to know her. Her father was the first person who broke her heart. It’s ironic how she used to be the biggest daddy’s girl in the world. He could do no wrong through her innocent eyes, as the twisted harmony of disappointment became her life’s theme song. Every time he didn’t show up, it sliced a minor piece of her expectations away. She eventually stopped getting ready and stopped letting herself feel anything. She molded into an invisible shell of the girl she used to be, because the only man who ever made her feel safe, was fleeting along his own path. This neglect turned to rage, as her mother constantly failed to repair the absent pieces. She just didn’t have the tools to repair what she didn’t destroy, and her daughter couldn’t heal where she got sick. As life went on and the trauma altered her brain, it’s almost as if she couldn’t remember when she became so routinely sad. Yet she vividly recalls the last time she felt genuine joy. That long lost memory buried somewhere a little further under her surface...

Only made her hate experiencing the world around her even more.